


Retrograde

by carolinecrane



Series: Retrograde [1]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-22
Updated: 2003-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-27 23:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6304570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not love, but it's something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retrograde

It's not that Speed hates this time of year. He just doesn't have a lot of use for it, for the decorations and the gift exchanges and the music...God, the music. That part he could definitely live without, but the rest of it doesn't really bother him. Christmas in Miami is a lot different than Christmas in, say, New York, and the lack of snow helps. The warm weather helps him forget what season it is, and what exactly happened right around this time not so many years ago. It's part of the reason he ended up in the south, and it's a lot of the reason he stayed.

He's still not that crazy about the office Christmas party, though, and he finds himself hoping a call will come in so he can get out of the festivities everyone else seems to enjoy so much. Only nobody in Miami seems to be in the mood for murder, because it's been quiet all week and he's starting to get a little antsy. He half expects Horatio to show up in a Santa Claus outfit any minute now, and if that happens he's definitely out of here.

A few minutes later a Santa hat does make an appearance, but it's Delko wearing it and Speed rolls his eyes because only Eric could pull off that shade of red. Well, maybe Calleigh too, because as soon as Eric gets her under the mistletoe he pulls off the hat and sets it on her head before he kisses her. It's just a peck on the cheek, but he's seen the way they've been looking at each other lately, and he knows where they're headed. It's a no-brainer, especially now that Hagen's out of the picture.

He's so caught up in watching the two of them flirt that he doesn't notice somebody approaching him until there's a shoulder literally pressed up against his, and he glances to his right only to find himself face to face with Tyler.

"Hey," Tyler says, grinning at Speed before he nods in Delko's direction. "I guess that's no surprise to anybody."

Speed shrugs, because he may have seen it coming, but he doesn't talk about his coworkers' personal lives even when they're playing out right in front of him. He knows better, even if he has a little trouble remembering to keep his mouth shut every once in awhile. He's only human, after all, despite what most of the people in the room probably think of him. 

"Guess somebody else is taking it kind of hard," Tyler says, motioning toward the opposite corner of the room. Speed follows his gaze – it's not like he has anything better to do -- and finds himself staring at Sam and the girl who started in the DNA lab a few months ago. He's leaning into her and whispering something that makes her laugh, but his eyes are across the room on Calleigh and Eric, and that's something Speed didn't see coming. 

He's seen Sam flirt with Calleigh, sure, but he thought that was just the way he was. He comes off so smooth that it's hard to take his flirting seriously, except now he's staring at Delko like he's wishing looks could kill, and Speed instantly bristles at the implied threat to his friend. He forces himself to relax because he's not alone, and Tyler's tuned into the soap opera going on around them, so he'll probably notice if Speed overreacts to a little harmless jealousy.

"I gotta tell you, though," Tyler says, drawing Speed's attention reluctantly back to the other man, "I kind of thought he had a thing for you."

For a second Speed's too stunned to do more than stare open-mouthed at Tyler, but he pulls himself together quickly and shakes his head. "What are you talking about?"

Tyler smiles sheepishly in that way he has -- that way Speed very carefully hasn't been noticing every time he's in the A/V lab -- and shrugs before he turns back to the drama across the room. "You guys think I just hang out with my video screens all day and never see anything, but I have to leave the office every once in awhile, you know. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"Who?" Speed asks before he can stop himself, and he can't help casting a horrified glance in Delko's direction. He hears Tyler laugh, close to his ear and damn it, he's not going to blush. 

"Not him," Tyler says, and then he gestures toward the opposite side of the room. " _Him_."

Speed frowns when he finds himself staring at Sam once again, then he shakes his head and ventures a glance at Tyler to make sure Tyler's not pulling his leg. "You thought...with me?"

"I didn't say I thought you'd go for it," Tyler amends quickly, like that's supposed to make everything okay. 

As far as Speed knows there isn't a person in the lab who knows he's gay, at least not now that Megan's gone, and that's just fine with him. It's the way he wants it, because his personal life isn't anybody's business. And granted, he doesn't really _have_ much of a personal life, but that's not the point here. The point is that...he's not exactly sure what the point is anymore, and he's not sure why he's still standing here having this conversation with a guy he doesn't really know all that well.

"I mean he's good-looking and all, don't get me wrong." Tyler, and he's still talking like this is a perfectly normal conversation. "So's Delko, for that matter, but everybody knows he's into Calleigh. I just didn't know Sam was into Calleigh too."

"Yeah, well, that's not really my area," Speed answers, hoping that will be enough to bring the conversation to a halt. The last thing he wants to do is gossip about who's hooking up with who; he'd rather be doing his job, but if he can't have that all he really wants to do is go home and forget this entire conversation ever happened. 

Tyler nods and looks over at him, his expression sort of appraising, and suddenly Speed finds himself fighting the urge to squirm. "I really thought he had a thing for you."

He says it like he's genuinely shocked anybody would choose Calleigh over him, and that's enough to make Speed want to laugh. Of course Sam would choose Calleigh, because for one thing, Speed's a guy, and for another, Calleigh's...Calleigh. She's got Southern Charm down to a science, and Speed has trouble being polite on a good day. "No offense man, but that's pretty much a no-brainer."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too." Tyler grins at him, and for the second time in five minutes Speed's too stunned to say anything. By the time he recovers Tyler's patting him on the shoulder and saying something about mingling, and all Speed can do is nod and watch him walk away. 

~

Speed finds himself in the A/V lab the very next day, but thankfully Horatio's with him. They're checking out a surveillance tape from the hotel where a body turned up at the beginning of their shift, and Speed's trying hard not to be too self-conscious around Tyler. He doesn't know anything for sure; it's possible Tyler was just messing with his head, that he was as bored by the Christmas party as Speed and looking for a diversion. But Tyler's never really been that kind of guy -- he has a good sense of humor, sure, but he's not cruel about it the way Delko can sometimes be. So Speed's almost sure he was actually serious, and he's not sure what to do about it.

He thinks if he just doesn't do anything it'll go away eventually, but there's a small part of him that kind of doesn't want it to. And that's definitely a bad sign, because he knows better than to get involved with somebody he works with. He's not even sure if that's what's happening here, because for all he knows Tyler was just making conversation. Sure, it _sounded_ like a come-on, but Speed's never been very good at deciphering these things, and the last thing he plans to do is embarrass himself by asking. 

So he's glad Horatio's standing right next to him, hovering over Tyler's shoulder as they go through the surveillance tapes looking for something that might put their suspect in the hotel around the time of the murder. He's glad, that is, until Horatio's cell phone rings, and when Horatio glances at him Speed knows what's coming. He should have expected it, really, because he learned a long time ago that if something can go wrong in his life it will. So he listens to the speech about new evidence at the hotel and nods when Horatio tells him to stick with the surveillance tape. 

It doesn't matter, not really, because he's still got a job to do and Tyler's just a guy he works with. Whatever happened yesterday has nothing to do with what they're doing now, and he knows how to keep his job separate from his personal life. Not that Tyler has anything to do with his personal life, he reminds himself as he turns his attention back to the video screen.

"You can sit down, you know."

He looks down at the sound of the voice to find Tyler tilted back in his chair, looking at him from upside down. It's a weird angle, but for some reason whenever Tyler looks at him like that it always makes Speed's stomach a little uneasy. Like bottoming out on a roller coaster, only he's not the one who's upside down. "What?"

Tyler's grin is strange at this angle, but then he straightens up and pats the chair next to him. "Take a load off. I don't bite."

An image hits him of that smile pressed up against his neck, teeth scraping their way across his skin and he actually shudders, hoping to God Tyler doesn't hear the sharp exhalation. He pulls the chair out and sits down -- careful, always careful not to move too fast or say anything he can't take back -- and fixes his attention back on the screen. Because he doesn't want to know if Tyler's watching him, doesn't want to know if Tyler wants to pick up where they left off yesterday. And more importantly, he doesn't want any more reasons to imagine Tyler's mouth against his skin or the sound of his laugh from way too close up. 

So he keeps his attention trained on the surveillance tapes that aren't showing them anything, and he tells himself that it won't be long before he can declare this whole mess a waste of his time and go back to looking for evidence they can actually use.

"Wait a second. Did you see that?" Speed straightens up in his chair, forgetting to be self-conscious as he catches a flash of something in the corner of the grainy video. "Go back...right there."

Tyler freezes the video on just the right frame, because he's good at his job, and Speed's never had a problem admiring that. He zooms in on the image without being told, cleaning it up just enough that Speed can tell it's a false alarm.

"That our guy?"

"No," Speed answers, letting out a frustrated sigh and leaning back in his chair. "Sorry."

"No problem," Tyler says, and he sounds so damn cheerful about it that Speed catches himself wondering if Tyler's happy about the fact that they're stuck going through more boring surveillance videos. As soon as he catches himself thinking it he tells himself he's crazy. This is Tyler's job, after all, and he'd be doing the same thing if Horatio had stayed instead of Speed. 

The tape starts again, and for a while they sit in silence and watch the black and white images scroll by in double time. And it's almost...disappointing, like this is just another day and nothing happened less than twenty-four hours ago to change things between them. He's pretty sure he didn't imagine it. He thinks he didn't, anyway, but maybe he misinterpreted it, because if Tyler was flirting with him yesterday then he changed his mind awful fast. Not that Speed _wants_ Tyler to flirt with him, because he doesn't do office drama, not when he can leave that in the much more capable hands of Delko.

"So what's the deal with you and Delko?"

"What?" he nearly snaps, startled not only by the sudden break in silence, but the fact that apparently Tyler's a mind reader.

Tyler glances over at him -- smiling again, of course -- and for a second Speed wonders if maybe he's just trapped in one of those weird dreams where nothing makes sense and everything means something totally different than it should. But even in his dreams he has to admit that Tyler's got a great smile, and if it's a dream it won't really hurt if he lets himself notice it just this once. Maybe he could even smile back -- and he might, if he wasn't so busy being confused.

"None of my business, I know," Tyler says, turning his attention back to the screen, and somewhere in the back of Speed's mind a voice points out that at least one of them is actually concentrating on work. "You can't blame a guy for wondering, though, right? I mean it's pretty clear he's into Calleigh, but sometimes when I see you guys together..."

And they are so not having this conversation, because for one thing Eric's his _friend_ , and for another...well, he's pretty sure if Eric even thought Speed was interested they wouldn't be friends anymore. Speed doesn't say anything, but he must look horrified because when Tyler glances over at him his smile fades and he starts backpedaling faster than Speed would have thought possible.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"We're just friends," Speed hears himself say, and God, when did his mouth start working independently of his brain? He's as much as admitted to this guy he barely knows that he's gay, and if he sits here for much longer there's no telling how else he'll incriminate himself. And it's not that he thinks he has anything to be ashamed of, he's just...private, and he doesn't like people speculating about his personal life. Only he's not so much mad at Tyler for wondering about him as he is terrified that he's as transparent as Tyler makes him sound. "That's it."

"Totally none of my business," Tyler says again, and this time he really looks like he's sorry. For a second Speed almost feels bad for reacting the way he did, and he starts to shake his head before he has a chance to think better of it.

"Forget it. Seriously."

"No, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay," Speed says, because it's not, but he really doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Somewhere in the back of his mind there's a voice nagging at him that they're supposed to be working, and he glances automatically at the video screen just as their suspect strolls across the bottom corner of the screen. "There's our guy."

Just like that Tyler's all business, rewinding frame by frame and enhancing the image until he's got a decent enough shot of the guy's face for Speed to use. He puts a time stamp on it and prints it out, and when he turns to hand it over he's wearing a sheepish grin that makes Speed's knees feel a little weird. "I really am sorry."

And he looks so contrite that Speed can't help smiling, but as soon as he does he knows it's a mistake, because Tyler's expression shifts to something Speed can't quite define. "Forget it, man," Speed says again, his gaze dropping to the picture Tyler's holding out. He closes a hand around it, but when he tugs Tyler doesn't let go, and Speed really should have seen this coming.

"Let me make it up to you."

Tyler does let go then and Speed catches himself before he stumbles, the chair he'd been sitting in hitting the back of his calves as he catches his balance. "What?"

"Dinner, my treat. I promise I won't bring up anybody from work."

It couldn't have been a set-up, because Tyler couldn't know how Speed would react to the question about Delko. It _feels_ like a set-up, though, and he has a sinking feeling that no matter how their conversation had gone, it would have ended up right here. Tyler's good with words -- better than Speed, that's for sure, and Speed can't say he's really surprised to find himself standing in the A/V lab, trying to think of a way to turn down a date.

He can't remember the last time somebody asked him out -- there was that thing last year with Pat, which Horatio somehow misheard as 'Pam' and Speed never bothered to correct, and after that there was a weird flirtation with Bernstein that still makes Speed feel a little queasy whenever they're on a case together. Since then...well, since then there have been a handful of faces that sort of blend together, but nothing that really adds up to an actual relationship. It's not that he doesn't want -- he wants a lot of things, but he doesn't let himself have most of them because he's seen his coworkers' love lives interfere with their jobs enough to know better.

So this is the part where he opens his mouth and delivers the 'it's nothing personal' speech. He's done it before, and he knows exactly how to say it so there's no room for argument. And the best part is that he's the one who ends up sounding like damaged goods -- it makes him feel a little better if the other guy can blame him, because at least that way he doesn’t hurt anybody's feelings. "Look, Tyler..."

"It's just dinner. You like Cuban food? Because there's this great place down in South Beach. Puerto Sagua, you ever been there?"

"No, I don't...listen..."

This isn't how this conversation is supposed to go. Tyler definitely isn't supposed to scribble an address onto a piece of paper and shove it into Speed's free hand, and his fingers aren't supposed to feel so warm when they linger against Speed's skin. He's not supposed to sound so damn sure of himself when he tells Speed to meet him at his place so they can drive over together, and Speed's not supposed to stand there and take it all like he's suddenly lost his ability to speak. But Tyler's good at talking, and it makes Speed wonder what else he can do with his mouth, and as soon as he starts thinking about that he knows he's lost the battle.

~

He's got a date.

He's not sure how it happened, and he spends the rest of the day in a sort of fog, caught between trying to focus on work and trying to work out how Tyler steamrolled him into agreeing to go out tonight. He knows the rest of the team is looking at him kind of funny, but he just frowns a little more than usual and they all leave him alone. It's not hard -- he's been frowning all afternoon anyway, because he still can't figure out exactly how Tyler managed to talk him into an actual date. 

It doesn't matter, though, because Tyler didn't bother to write down his number, so Speed can't cancel without standing Tyler up. He could show up and tell Tyler it's not going to happen, but he has a sinking feeling that would go about as well as his attempt to say no in the first place. He tries not to think too much about how hard he really tried to turn Tyler down, focusing instead on buttoning his favorite royal blue button-down and tucking it into a pair of black jeans. 

It's not worth getting worked up over, really, because it's just a couple friends going out for dinner. And maybe it's sort of a date, but that doesn't mean it's going anywhere. He likes Tyler, but he knows how to put the breaks on before things get out of control. So they'll have dinner together and then he'll tell Tyler that this can't happen, and that will be that. Tyler will understand. He works in the crime lab too, and he knows how fast rumors spread around there. There's no way they can date and keep it under wraps, not for long, anyway, and Tyler will understand why that just can't happen.

He says it over and over again on the way to Tyler's place, and by the time he rings the doorbell he almost believes it. And he's doing okay until the door opens and Tyler grins at him, his gaze wandering over Speed the same way it did at the Christmas party. It makes him feel like he's on display, and he's not sure whether he likes it or not. There's a part of him that's sort of flattered, but there's another part of him that knows how fast this could get out of hand.

It already has, and for a second he considers turning and getting right back in his car, driving home and spending the rest of the night trying to pretend this never happened. He still has to face Tyler at work, though, so instead he shoves his hands in his pockets and waits while Tyler closes and locks his door. 

"Nice shirt," Tyler says when he turns back to Speed, and Speed's not going to blush just because somebody paid him a compliment.

"Thanks." He glances at Tyler's clothes -- he's wearing what he always wears, khakis and a shirt that's too big for him and covered in a weird tropical print. For a second he thinks about repaying the compliment, but what's he going to say? 'I always thought you'd look better out of those clothes' might go over well, but he's not sure he wants it to. He's not sure of anything, and when he finds himself sliding into the passenger seat of Tyler's car all he knows for sure is that this is a bad idea.

He's doesn't know what it is about Tyler that makes him so nervous -- maybe it's the fact that he always seems so relaxed, even when everyone around him is totally stressed out. Or maybe it's the way he smiles, or more to the point, the things those smiles do to Speed's insides. It's something he tries not to think about too much, but now that he finds himself sitting in Tyler's car he has to admit that there's always been an attraction. It's not the annoying, 'God, he's hot' attraction he felt for Delko when they first started working together. It's not even the unsettling want that tugs at his stomach whenever Bernstein's around.

It's worse than both of those, because the things Speed likes best about Tyler aren't his looks or the sound of his voice or the way he handles a gun. No, the thing Speed first noticed about him was his brain, and that's always been his weakness. He's smart, maybe as smart as Speed, and he's funny, and brains and a sense of humor beat looks in Speed's book any day. What makes it even worse is that Tyler always gets Speed's jokes, and he's only met one other person he can say that about.

He's not thinking about that now, though, not when he's following Tyler into a dimly lit restaurant in the trendy part of town. It's not someplace he'd ever seek out on his own, but the atmosphere is laid back, even for South Beach, and he relaxes marginally when the hostess leads them to a booth in the back of the dining room. It's far enough out of the sun that he doesn't have to squint, but it's not so dark that it feels unnecessarily romantic. Not that he has anything against romance, he's just not any _good_ at it.

They've hardly said anything since he showed up at Tyler's door, and he knows it's mostly his fault, but he's not sure what to talk about. No work talk means he's pretty much out of options, and even though they didn't really set a hard and fast rule he has a feeling Tyler doesn't want to talk about the case they're working on.

"So," he says at the same time that Tyler says, "Hey," and he laughs a little nervously when Tyler grins at him.

"I guess you're not going home for Christmas."

For a second Speed frowns -- Miami is home, has been for a long time -- but when he realizes what Tyler means he just shakes his head and glances at the exit. "New York's not really my scene."

Tyler nods, even though there's no way he could know what Speed really means. For a second he almost resents it, but when he catches himself he pushes the feeling as far back as it will go and reaches for his water. Nobody knows why Speed left New York, not even Megan. Nobody needs to know, because that's all in the past now and talking about it won't change anything. So whenever the subject comes up he just says that New York doesn't agree with him, and he leaves out the part about all the things going back there reminds him of.

"Hey, I didn't mean to hit a nerve."

Speed frowns at that and looks up to find Tyler watching him, his expression just as apologetic as it had been that afternoon in the A/V lab. He shakes his head and glances down at the menu in his hands, because it turns out that looking at Tyler makes the knot in his stomach even tighter. "You didn't. I just don't think of Syracuse as home anymore."

They're sitting on a bench on either side of the table that makes up the corner booth, and when Tyler starts to scoot a little closer Speed panics for a second. And he's not sure what his problem is, because he's a grown man and it's not like this is the first date he's ever been on. There's just something about Tyler, the way he looks so at ease all the time in a way Speed can never hope to understand.

"It's kind of distracting, huh?"

"What?" Speed asks, blinking in surprise when he finds himself staring at an almost nervous-looking Tyler. It's a look Speed doesn't see on him that often, and he has to admit that he kind of likes it. Okay, he _really_ likes it, just like he likes it when Tyler smiles at him like he's the only person in the room.

"The anticipation," Tyler answers, like that's supposed to clear up everything. Speed's spent the whole day feeling like they're talking in riddles, and when Tyler leans closer and drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper Speed's positive he's missing something. "Maybe we should just get it over with."

"What...what are we getting over with?"

He barely has time to wince at the way his voice breaks before Tyler's grinning again, then he sways closer and suddenly Speed gets it. And once Tyler's mouth is pressed against his he knows Tyler's got it all wrong, because he wasn't thinking about this before, but he knows he's going to spend the rest of their date playing it over and over again in his mind.

Tyler's lips are firm against his, his skin smooth under Speed's hand and it takes him a second to realize he's touching. He doesn't remember reaching up, doesn't remember sliding his hand around the back of Tyler's neck. He definitely doesn't remember pulling Tyler closer, but if Tyler's murmur of approval is anything to go by, he must have done something. A thousand alarms go off in his head at the same time, reminding him of what a bad idea this is and why he never should have showed up at Tyler's place to begin with.

His body doesn't want to listen, though, and when he finally pulls away he finds his fingers buried in Tyler's hair and his other hand moving dangerously up Tyler's thigh. And okay, that's moving a little fast considering they're in public, so he pulls back abruptly and does his level best not to blush. He's scrambling for something to say, anything to stop this from spiraling out of control, but the waitress picks that moment to interrupt. He can tell by the way she smiles at them that there were witnesses to their first kiss, and he briefly considers how hard it would be to kill Tyler and hide the body. He's a CSI, after all, and if anyone could get away with that kind of crime it should be him.

Only killing Tyler means he doesn't get to kiss him again, and that's a sacrifice he's not sure he's willing to make.

~

This is officially the longest, most awkward dinner of his life, exchanging furtive glances and small talk over his ropa veija while he tries his level best not to think about what's going to happen when they get back to Tyler's place. Hell, when they get back in the car, because if there's one thing Speed's learned in the past two days, it's that Tyler isn't shy. If he sees something he wants he goes for it, and there's no question anymore that what he wants is Speed.

That thought alone is enough to make him wonder when he's going to wake up from this weird dream, not so much because Tyler wants him, but because he's actually letting it happen. It's the worst thing he can do considering the speed at which gossip spreads in the crime lab, but when Tyler's hand slides up his thigh under the table he finds himself struggling to remember the bad in the situation. He chokes on a mouthful of beer and sets his glass down abruptly, glancing pointedly at Tyler to find him grinning back at Speed.

"You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah," Speed answers, reaching for his wallet only to find Tyler gripping his wrist.

"I asked, I pay," Tyler says, and Speed just nods because it's not worth arguing when that just means it will take them even longer to get back to Tyler's place.

At this point his goal is just to get them alone, because it's too late to get out of this without doing something he'll regret, and if he's going to go through with it he just wants the talking part over. So he lets Tyler pay the bill, then he follows him out of the restaurant, carefully not making eye contact with the waitress who's been watching them all night like she's expecting them to have sex on the table. Not that the idea didn't cross his mind once or twice, and when he feels his cheeks flush he's glad for the fact that the sun's starting to set already.

They slide into the car and Tyler turns the engine over before he turns to look at Speed, his smile making Speed's cock twitch even in the low light. He's impressed with his self-control, because he doesn't reach over and pull Tyler toward him as soon as they make eye contact. It takes him a full five seconds just to move, mostly because he's trying to decide if it's worth it to run the risk of getting arrested for public indecency.

When he does move it's to stretch his legs out in front of him, palms pressing flat against his thighs to keep himself from touching. "Thanks," he says, rolling his eyes as soon as he hears himself. "For dinner, I mean."

"My pleasure," Tyler answers, and Speed's sure he's bruising his thighs with the effort not to touch. "I've wanted to ask for a long time."

"How come you didn't?" Speed asks, although he can think of about a thousand reasons all on his own.

Tyler just shrugs as he pulls out of the parking lot and heads north, and there goes that smile again. "I promised I wouldn't mention anybody from work."

"So you really thought...?" Speed lets the question trail off, lingering between them because he can't bring himself to say the words.

"For a while I thought you had a thing for Delko. Then Sam showed up and...I probably shouldn't say it."

"What?" Speed prompts, because he's not altogether sure he wants to hear it, but anything's better than the touchy subject of his fleeting crush on Delko.

"It's just the idea of you and Sam. You've got to admit, it's really hot."

"You mean you thought about...?" And now he's officially blushing, but he's not sure if it's the embarrassment of knowing Tyler fantasized about him and another guy or the images he's trying really hard not to picture.

When Tyler shrugs but doesn't answer Speed knows he's embarrassed too, and he feels sort of guilty that it makes him feel a little better.

"He's not my type," he says, stealing a glance at Tyler out of the corner of his eye. His 'type' is something he tries hard not to think about and tries even harder to play against, but he's losing that battle quickly and there's a part of him that almost doesn't mind. "I mean even if he was interested."

After a few minutes of silence he feels compelled to say something, to maybe try to regain some control over the situation, but when he opens his mouth the words come out all wrong. "I never had a thing for Delko."

Tyler glances over at him then, just for a second before he turns back to the road. "Just friends, right, you said."

He gets the feeling Tyler doesn't believe him, but when they pull up in front of Tyler's place it doesn't really matter anymore. He's not thinking about Delko or Sam or anybody else from the lab -- he's not thinking about anything except that kiss in the restaurant and how far he's willing to take this thing between them. Because he has a feeling this isn't just a one-night thing, and if he goes inside with Tyler it's going to be the start of something he might not be ready to deal with.

He turns in the passenger seat and opens his mouth to explain why this is a bad idea, then closes it again when he realizes he doesn't want to. What he wants to do is go inside and pick up where they left off in the restaurant, where no one can interrupt them this time. Only Tyler hasn't asked him to come in yet, and Speed can't tell by the way Tyler's looking at him whether or not that's where this is headed.

"I was wrong."

"About what?" Speed asks. That's not what he was expecting to hear, and suddenly he's terrified that Tyler's going to tell him he's changed his mind and Speed's not worth it after all.

"About getting the first kiss over with. It hasn't helped me stop thinking about it."

Tyler grins then, and Speed rolls his eyes as he leans forward, closing a hand around Tyler's ugly shirt and pulling him close. Frustration makes the shy routine seem kind of pointless, and he pushes the last of his misgivings to the back of his mind and covers Tyler's mouth with his own. Their first kiss was so unexpected that he barely registered it before it was over, but this time...this time he's going slow, cataloging the way Tyler's mouth feels on his and the way his hands move across Speed's shoulders.

And he likes kissing Tyler, but it's a little awkward in the cramped front seat of his car, so Speed pulls back with an audible gasp and blinks until Tyler comes into focus. "So are you gonna invite me in or what?"

He gets a throaty chuckle for that, like Tyler's just been waiting for him to ask. He's already too far gone to care, though, so instead of worrying about it he focuses on climbing out of the car and following Tyler up the walk to his front door. That's as far as they get before they're kissing again; Speed's not sure if he kissed Tyler or if Tyler kissed him, but it doesn't really matter. What does matter is the fact that his back is flat against the door and Tyler's hand is fumbling with something near his waist -- his keys, Speed realizes through the fog in his brain -- then they're stumbling backwards through a suddenly open door and into an apartment Speed's never seen before.

He's not going to see it now either, except for the few glimpses he catches of white walls and blurry furniture as Tyler pulls him toward what he hopes is the bedroom. Hands work open the buttons on his shirt with surprising dexterity, pushing the fabric off his shoulders to hit the floor. Speed shivers at the sudden rush of air conditioning against bare skin, then he kicks off his shoes and slides his arms around Tyler's waist to push his too-big shirt up.

He expects to meet smooth, hot skin, but when his hands encounter another layer of cotton he frowns and pulls away just far enough to tug Tyler's shirt off. Under the ugly tropical number is a white cotton t-shirt tucked neatly into khaki pants, and something about the image makes Speed instantly harder. He sucks in a breath and runs a hand down the center of Tyler's chest, stopping at the top of his waistband and letting his thumb dip below the fabric.

Tyler's not built like Delko, but he's a little taller than Speed, sort of lanky in a way that makes Speed think of teenagers and stolen, fumbling moments in bedrooms or empty classrooms. Those are things he doesn't think about anymore, though, so he looks up as he slides Tyler's zipper down and lets his fingers stroke the solid heat inside his pants. He's rewarded with a little groan and a full body shudder, and he pushes Tyler backwards until he sits down hard on the edge of the bed.

A second later Speed's on his knees, working Tyler's pants open and then pulling his cock out as carefully as he can manage with shaking hands. He strokes a few times, watching Tyler's eyes roll back and his mouth drop open in a silent 'o' of pleasure. He likes the weight of Tyler's cock in his hand, the smoothness against his palm and the heat as he leans in to run his tongue along the underside.

"Jesus," Tyler whispers above him, one hand leaving the mattress to stroke through Speed's hair, "you don't know how many times I've thought about this."

Speed wants to ask how many, how long and maybe who else Tyler's been thinking about, but his mouth's busy and when Tyler's hips start to move he focuses his attention on keeping time with Tyler's rhythm. His hands guide Tyler's hips in a steady pace, his mouth working up and down the length of Tyler's cock. He uses his tongue to tease the head on each upstroke, letting one hand drift up to Tyler's stomach to flatten against the warm skin there.

He's still wearing most of his clothes, his chest rising and falling under white cotton and his shoes still on. And he looks unbelievable with his head back and his t-shirt bunched up on his stomach, but Speed wants to see more, so he pulls away and ignores Tyler's disappointed groan long enough to get his pants and boxers off. When he realizes what Speed's doing Tyler kicks off his shoes and then the rest of his clothes, tugging his t-shirt over his head and dropping it on the floor.

And this...this is what Speed's been trying not to picture since that first kiss in the restaurant. Tyler's stretched out on the bed, legs splayed and dangling over the side, and he presses hot kisses to the inside of pale thighs as he crawls over Tyler to press their lips together again. His lips part automatically at the first press of Tyler's tongue, moaning when it thrusts in and out of his mouth. He fumbles for the zipper on his jeans but Tyler beats him to it, and together they wrestle the denim off and onto the floor.

By the time his jeans are off he's flat on his back, and he's not sure how it happened, but he doesn't argue when Tyler's mouth presses against his neck, hot breath making his shiver when Tyler laughs against his skin. "What?" he asks, tensing at the unexpected sound.

"Nothing," Tyler answers, pushing himself up on one elbow to look down at Speed. "I just...when I asked you out I expected you to say no."

"Was I supposed to say no?" He wishes suddenly that he had, that he'd listened to his instincts when they first tried to convince him what a bad idea this was. He starts to get up, but warm hands push him back onto the mattress, and when he looks at Tyler again the breathless smile is gone.

"No," Tyler says, his voice a little frantic, and Speed feels guilty for a reason he can't explain. "That's not what I meant. I didn't think you'd ever go out with me."

This isn't a conversation he really wants to have right now, so instead of answering he threads his fingers through Tyler's hair and pulls down hard, fitting their mouths together for a long, thorough kiss. Tyler moans against his mouth and presses their bodies together, all skin and heat and friction making Speed's eyes roll back. He bites back a groan when Tyler's mouth leaves his to press hot kisses down his neck, tongue dipping into the hollow of his collarbone before he moves lower to tease a nipple to hardness. He repeats the process on the other side of Speed's chest, and by the time he's done Speed's panting and pressing up hard against him, fingers threaded through Tyler's hair to urge him further down.

At the first puff of hot breath on his cock Speed lifts his hips, expecting Tyler to pull his underwear down and off. Instead he groans as Tyler's mouth closes around the head of his cock through the thin layer of cotton, sucking until there's a wet, transparent spot at the front of the fabric. He doesn't whimper when Tyler lets out another breath on his now-wet cock, but the strangled noise he makes is close enough to a whimper to make his cheeks burn. Then Tyler's tongue does something amazing and he forgets all about being embarrassed, thrusting up in a vain effort to get more.

Surprisingly strong hands press him back down against the mattress, holding him there as Tyler mouths down his length and then back up again, taking his time learning what makes Speed groan or hiss or twist in his grip. And finally, when he thinks he can't stand it anymore, Tyler's thumbs hook in the waistband of his underwear, dragging them down in one swift motion. They stop somewhere around his thighs, but Speed barely notices because Tyler's mouth is on his cock again, tongue teasing the head and his teeth just grazing Speed's skin as Tyler slides his mouth down his length.

One hand leaves his hip to slide between his legs, fingers squeezing his balls before Tyler dips lower to press against his perineum. Speed's hands fist in the sheets on either side of him, his eyes squeezed shut tight and his jaw clenched with the effort to hold on just a little longer, just a few more seconds before he lets go. When he can't hold back any more he reaches out blindly, a hand in Tyler's hair to tug his mouth away. For a second Tyler fights him, but when he gets the hint he crawls back up Speed's body and fits their mouths together, his hand around Speed's cock to stroke once, twice, and then one last time before Speed comes.

"I don't mind," Tyler murmurs when Speed pulls away to gasp for air.

"You shouldn't," Speed answers between shallow breaths, turning his head and forcing his eyes open to look at Tyler. "Not unless you're sure it's safe."

For a second Tyler looks at him kind of funny, and he has a feeling he knows what Tyler's thinking. He probably thinks Speed's as safe as it gets -- maybe in more ways than one -- and he's probably right. Speed's always careful because he's too smart not to be, but that doesn't mean Tyler should take any chances. He waits for the comment about worrying too much or being a wet blanket, but a second later Tyler shakes his head and leans in again, mouthing kisses along Speed's chin until he reaches Speed's mouth.

His fingers trace the stubble on Speed's cheek as they kiss, his cock pressing insistently against Speed's thigh. He groans when Speed slides a hand between them, closing his fingers around Tyler's cock and stroking hard. He doesn't let up when Tyler buries his face in Speed's neck and thrusts more erratically into his grip, and a few moments later Tyler moans against him and comes in his hand.

His own stomach is still slick with his come and he knows they're going to stick together if they don't get up and clean off, but Tyler's still shaking against him and he figures they can just stay like this for a few more minutes. He runs a hand down sweat-slick skin, tracing Tyler's shoulder blades and then down his back to curve over his ass. Tyler presses back into the touch and Speed laughs breathlessly, suddenly wishing he really was a teenager again.

Guilt wells up in him at the thought, but before it has a chance to settle heavy in his chest Tyler turns his head, a sated grin lighting up his features when he looks at Speed. Almost instantly the guilt is replaced with an emotion Speed can't name, but it makes him smile back and slide a hand into Tyler's hair to guide him closer. And it's not love, but it's something, and it feels pretty good when Speed presses a kiss to the corner of Tyler's mouth.

~

Another slow shift, and Speed's glad he changed for his date, because he never did make it home before work the next day. He's leaning against a counter in the break room listening to Calleigh and Eric flirt when the door opens, and when he looks up and sees Tyler he can't quite stifle a smile. Tyler grins back at him, but he's Tyler, so it's not like Calleigh and Eric will think anything of it. They barely seem to notice anyone else is in the room, in fact, and Speed knows Calleigh's really gone if she's not making sure everyone around her feels like they're part of the conversation.

As soon as he thinks it she looks up, and when Eric realizes her smile's directed at somebody else he frowns and glances at Tyler. "Hey, Ty...man, what happened to your face?"

Speed's not blushing, but he hopes to God Calleigh and Eric don't turn around to look at him all the same. And it's not like he didn't notice the red, irritated skin on Tyler's cheeks and neck when they woke up, but he was kind of hoping nobody else would. If he'd shaved before their date this wouldn't be happening, but then again, he hadn't really been planning on most of last night. He reaches up unconsciously and runs a hand over his chin at the same moment Tyler does, and when he realizes what he's doing he flushes even harder and drops his hand.

"It's nothing," Tyler answers, and he sounds so casual that Speed almost believes him. "Just a little windburn. My friend just got a new boat, we decided to take it out yesterday."

He's a good liar, Speed has to give him that. It makes him a little nervous to listen to Tyler lie so flawlessly, but he pushes the irrational surge of nerves aside and focuses on making himself as unnoticeable as possible. It's not that hard considering Calleigh and Eric are both staring at Tyler's face, but he still holds his breath as he waits for one of them to say something.

"Man, how long were you guys out on the water?"

Tyler shrugs at Eric's question, and when he turns on that smile Speed's knees go a little weak. "Guess we lost track of time."

He glances over at Speed when he says it, just for a second, but there are three trained investigators in the room and at least one of them is smart enough not to miss it. Speed manages not to wince when Calleigh glances over her shoulder at him, her gaze immediately straying to his chin. He tells himself she doesn't know anything, that it's just a coincidence, but then she smiles to herself and stands up and he knows he's not fooling her.

"Sensitive skin," she says, half to herself, but a second later she catches herself and smiles brightly at Tyler. "You should put some lotion on that. Something with aloe."

He nods his thanks as she heads for the door, and when they're gone Speed lets out a deep breath and tells himself that it's okay, that it's just Calleigh and she won't say anything. Only she didn't look all that surprised, and he's starting to wonder if he's really been doing that good a job keeping his private life private.

When a throat clears he looks up to find Tyler watching him, looking more nervous than Speed ever remembers seeing him. "Sorry. I didn't know anybody was in here."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Speed answers, rubbing his cheek reflexively as he surveys the damage to Tyler's skin. "Does that hurt?"

"Itches a little. But it's worth it."

Speed's grin is self-conscious, and he glances automatically toward the door before he answers. "You should let me buy you dinner. To make it up to you."

Tyler shrugs and pours himself a cup of coffee before he looks up at Speed again. "If it'll make you feel better. But I don't mind if we skip right to dessert."


End file.
